by Jeffery Brown
There is a final time when you remember and the loss hits you with all its force. This one final time, though it happens over and over again, if you bear with it, if you stick and move at the same time, it will take you with it. Its power will break up the sorrow which almost boarded up the heart and guttered the candles. It will carry you over the lip and into the stream again. And as this one final time happen over and over again, if you stick with it, and bear, and move with it at the same time, it will scoop you out until the cave of your whole being, the twisting tunnel leading to your innermost end- will be scooped out, broadened and deepened. And the bottomless pools will be discovered! When the lights get lit they will bounce off walls vain with jewels never before seen, never before imagined let alone touched. This depth spilling out of your will will have a gentleness, a final tenderness, and you will be bathed over and over again int he water of your redemption.
There’s an old worn path, a way of numberless people, each with a cross to bear, some grown used to it, a generous spirit in their hearts, glad to be alive and cheering you on. But I am the newcomer with a freshly cut trunk of tree on top of me, blinking in the strange light of this place like one just arrived out of paradise. The old worn path speaks to the soles of my shoes and says:
‘KEEP WALKING. KEEP IT MOVING THROUGH YOU. DON’T LET IT GET STUCK. DON’T GET IT STUCK FAST IN YOU BODY. NO MATTER WHAT THE PAIN, LET IT HEAVE AND BUCK BUT GET IT OUT. SOMEDAY YOU’LL LEARN, LIKE THE BEAUTIFUL OLD WOMAN OVER THERE THAT THE LOSS, THE GREAT EMPTINESS OF THE CAVERN INSIDE YOU FILLS UP WITH GRIEF, SPILLS OVER SO MANY TIMES WITH TEARS, THAT IF YOU CUT THE DARKNESS LOOSE EVERY DAY, CUT IT LOOSE, LET IT GO WITH GOD, SURRENDER IT AND SURRENDER EVEN THE SURRENDER PLACE FOR ONE FINAL TIME THAT HAPPENS OVER AND OVER AGAIN THE DARKNESS WILL SPILL OUT AND ALL THAT WILL BE LEFT WILL BE LIGHT’
Enjoy this poem which has inspired many clients and students of mine over the 35+ years of serving! May it companion you through the Fall as we let go more and more…into the light of our deepest innermost being.
What does this stir for you? Any unprocessed grief leading you to holding on more than is good for you? Questions about healthy grieving? Need any support along the path? Reach out here for Body, Mind, Emotion and Spiritual tools for your integration into the light within…